Non-Violence and America

Today there was a shooting (actually more than one) - but the high profile one was in Alexandria involving Representative Scalise and congressional staff and Capital police officers. I hate it, and I hate the ease with which we seem to be able to maim and kill each other. I pray for all who suffer under violence.

After learning that the shooter had been a volunteer in his campaign, Bernie Sanders made a statement of his horror and condemned the actions. In his statement, he said this: "Violence of any kind is unacceptable in our society... Real change can only come about from non-violent action and anything else runs counter to our most deeply held American values."

I deeply respect Sanders' comments and believe they come from an authentic place of sorrow for what happened today.

But something about his words struck me. I'm in the middle of reading Ta-Nehisi Coates' book "Between the World and Me." Through this book, I've already been introduced to concepts that have completely transformed my thinking. Coates speaks about American history in contrast with African American history. Growing up, the ascribed American heroes (founding fathers, war heroes, etc) are heroes in violence. They are conquerers. They fight for our freedom, they stake their claims, they are enmeshed in war and violence. African Americans were not allowed the same heroes. Their heroes had to be that of non-violence to fit into history books. I finally understood the appeal of Malcolm X. It was a light bulb moment for me as I re-watched the scenes of American history through this new lens. I am not saying it nearly as eloquently as Coates, and I recommend that if you have never read this book, you do so soon.

This thing that Coates brought to my attention, I never really saw it before. And now, I can't unseen it. As a Christian, I believe deeply in non-violence. I believe that it is the moral high ground as well as the best and true way to begin a new thing. I agree with Martin Luther King, Jr. that "hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

However, as I listened to Sanders' speech, I couldn't help but think... No- no, violence isn't unacceptable in our society. In fact, we are deeply violent. Look at our justice system, with capital punishment that is the very epitome of the "an eye for an eye" mentality. Look on social media when people speak about things that other people disagree with- you will find horrifyingly violent responses. Minorities and women seem to be the most common victims of these violent outbreaks. We have a government who is unable to pass reasonable gun legislation for the very reason of violence: people want to be able to 'protect their own' from the Other. That means, in Florida, that if you look scary to me, I have a right to shoot to kill. (I may be maligning the legislation, but I certainly am not maligning the interpretation of the law in courts.)

We are not a non-violent society. We have the most powerful (ridiculously) military and weapons in the world. And we use them. We use rhetoric that dehumanizes enemies, such that we don't feel so bad (in fact we feel great) when we annihilate a "target."

Of course there is the other side of the coin, we have amazing humanitarian efforts in our military, government, private and public sector. But as a society, we are NOT primarily non-violent. Violence is completely acceptable (applauded!) to more Americans than I would like to admit. I'm learning that as I get older. People threaten to beat someone up over getting cut off in traffic. Someone wants to kill someone else's dog because that dog pooped in their yard. Someone hopes a certain political figure will have a heart attack so we don't have to deal with them. Someone wants to kill the rapist. Someone wants to hurt the person that hurt their friend, family member. We don't want any of this to happen to us, and we certainly assume people will give us the benefit of the doubt if we happen to make a mistake. But we feel justified in carrying out our own brand of justice if it corrects a perceived wrong.

We are violent. And I'm not excluding myself from that. I have been conditioned by my family and religion to be on the lesser end of the violent scale, but I can't deny I have had my thoughts of violence pop up. But even as I seek to find more productive ways to deal with anger and frustration, I witness a culture that sponsors the opposite in the people around me: HOW OUTRAGED ARE YOU ABOUT THIS?! WILL YOU FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHTS?! THIS SCUM WILL SERVE TIME IN JAIL, IS IT ENOUGH?! WAR ON YOUR DEEPLY HELD BELIEFS, WILL YOU SUBMIT OR FIGHT?!

Our entire American existence right now seems to be in all-caps. Everything is a big deal and everything is something to fight about. Our society has been pumped with adrenaline and outrage, not non-violence.

Perhaps this is part of the problem. When violence happens that we don't like, we act like non-violence is a social norm, when it isn't. Sanders said that "real change can only come through non-violent action." While I believe that is true at the deepest of levels, history teaches us differently, doesn't it? Violence changed a hell of a lot. Violence nearly wiped out the Native Americans. Violence was the foundation for a slave-trade that we still can't talk about in America like normal adults. Violence is the knee-jerk reaction for solving world problems, and has been the ongoing heartbeat of all our conflicts across the globe over time. We've improved our weapons, but not so much our negotiation and communication skills. Violence spread certain religions over certain places at certain times (nearly all religions and political regimes bordering on religious zealotry have had their turn in human history). Violence has actually been a MAJOR function of change in history, and especially in American history. Some of it we laud as heroic and sacrificial.

This history of violence has disproportionately negatively affected the poor and minorities. This history of violence has disproportionately negatively affected the poor and minorities. This history of violence has disproportionately negatively affected the poor and minorities. This history of violence has disproportionately negatively affected the poor and minorities. This history of violence has disproportionately negatively affected the poor and minorities.

Because violence by those in power is glorified, while violence by those without power is demonized.

Violence enacted by those in power (be it physical, mental, financial) seems to be sifted through a lens of just-war negotiations or at least an attempt to understand and justify. Violence by the poor and downtrodden are dismissed as savage and stupid.

Our deeply held American values need a gut-check. We are a violent society. Denying that is to be deeply unself-aware. Violence is not only accepted, in the right context it is honored, and we do not do nearly enough to check this. Violence lives and breathes in our legal (and penal) system, our financial institutions, our daily interactions with each other, our glorification of violence in our past (or, equally damaging, our erasure of it) and in many other tiny crevices I haven't noticed yet.

We need to be more self-aware America. We love violence, and the more we pretend we don't, the less we will be able to fight the violence that we have been planting the seeds of since day one.

Wonder Woman

Sunday night I went to see Wonder Woman. 

I keep thinking about all the little and big reasons why I loved it. And I do not feel ashamed that a big blockbuster superhero fight em' movie made me feel this way.

This blog is about the movie, I'm not going to do major spoilers, but I am going to talk about the movie a little - so if you're a purist and cannot know a thing before you see it- come back later.

The beginning of the movie is set where Wonder Woman, Diana, grows up- on an island full of powerful and colorful and badass women. There was something magical about this movie not having a single male actor for the first 20 minutes (I'm not positive on the timing). It wasn't because I don't like men. Love them. Married to one, have two for kids. It was the simplicity and not-fussiness of having a bunch of women kicking ass like it was not a thing. Many movies start with a ton of men kicking ass like it is not a thing. But seeing this scene with nothing but women- and not women in typical female prescribed roles, but women on horses, women training, women walking around. Women being completely content to do what they want to do. It was a fabulous sight. I had no idea I even needed to see it until I saw it. 

The costumes and dialogue gave me powerful women who were independent and had no shame. I don't mean that in the "Have you no SHAME?!" way- but imagine our epic character Eve before she eats the apple- walking around the garden with confidence and contentment. No reason for shame. What a release! I felt the peace of it. No burden of an entire history of submission and limitation. For a wonderful time, I felt the freedom of this!

Then the male characters are introduced and the lead female role is not diminished as a result. Amazing. She is still her. She is still interesting, powerful, independent. In fact- I had to look up the main male character's name to tell you about him because I had forgotten it (it's Steve)!! Steve and Diana have a fun back and forth about social niceties. Steve doesn't want to sleep next to Diana on their boat to the war because it is socially a faux pas. She doesn't get this at all. And it isn't  a weird sexual conversation. It is very frank and shame-free. He tries to see how much she knows about sex- she tells him she's very educated, and that her people had determined that "while men are necessary for procreation, they are not necessary for pleasure." This was said very matter of factly, to which Steve sort of humbly accepts the truth, and then she bids him good night and turns to go to sleep. THAT SCENE WAS EVERYTHING.

Wonder Woman showed the audience a woman who was authentically strong, a leader, and also kind and compassionate. No excuses were made for her strength or kindness. There were definitely moments where her kick-ass-ability was played up by the supporting male cast as a wow factor. But I didn't feel like it was only because she was a woman that they were wowed. They were just wowed. Her strength was accepted as legitimate and they followed her. 

The first scene where Diana really sort of steps up to the plate and does her bad-ass thing on the war front, I felt this emotional connection to the scene. I rarely feel that. I could relate to her. 

I left the movie feeling strong. I walked out the doors with a bad-ass feeling in my steps. Like I could take on the world. I was intoxicated with empowerment. Very rarely do I experience that after movies. I feel entertained or sad or humored or vulnerable, but this movie- I was ready to go join a kick-boxing class. I don't even like to exercise! But maybe now I will. Because I want to be strong like Wonder Woman. I want to fight for love. I want to feel like I can do anything. 

I finally want to be a super hero when I grow up.