"Live simply so that others may simply live"

I can't remember where this quote first originates from- but it has been haunting me. Especially in this Christmas season when I find myself turning into a little green giant, craving new clothes, new gadgets, new something to put somewhere and feel pretty.

The part of me that hasn't turned green is more of a bluish-pink color. I'm ashamed and sad that I cannot live up to this calling of simplicity. I guess it is a calling. It's almost an innate need. I feel my soul getting excited about less clutter and less items and less less less to worry about in my life. The problem is: I love decorating. I love looking nice. I love antiques. I feel like just simplifying in certain areas is not really enough. I have NO idea how to start this process of purging myself and my environment of what feels like toxic distractions. I know that I would be happy if I had simplicity- and I would be on the right "path" toward how I want to live in this world. I would be able to be "green" in the right way, blue with serenity, and rosy with hard work.

And don't get me started on the other end of that phrase: "so others may simply live." It sounds so judgmental! Almost like- well- if you'll move a half and inch so I may simply sit, that would be lovely. It's the kind of language my Grandmother uses when she is politely guilt-tripping you. She does it so skillfully, I don't think she even realizes what she's doing. "Oh, I don't want to bother you, I know you are so busy, but it is just so good to even hear your voice. Hopefully you'll have time to come see me sometime. But I don't want to bother you!"

wrenching guilt.

But, that's not why I want to live simply. Not guilt... a calling, a need, a revolutionizing of what it means to "live." What are my standards of living? How do I fight the vacuum of prestige, sucking me into normalcy with trinkets and class? I also like dishes. How many dishes do I need? Apparently, enough to have a 15 person party in every season (seasonal dishes are a need of course).

Help! I am in the bottom, near the drain of a powerful whirlpool, getting sucked through the little holes of classes- if I fit in the right ones- I've become a real woman with real china and a knack for entertaining! I don't want to entertain, I want to welcome. Where do I draw the line?

Oh, and my husband is inflicted with the same green disease. Is there hope for either of us?

Lord- help me live simply so that others may even thrive!

The Wrongest Thing to Do

I just wrote an entire entry on the things that bug me about me. You know when you are in a funk and people tell you to think positively or count your blessings? I think it's a grand idea, but I rarely do it. So I wrote a whole blog on the bad things. I was doing some funky control all to copy and put it somewhere else (a little depressing for a first blog entry) and it disappeared.

So that's nice. All the things that bug me about me are gone. And now I'm going to bed. -but with a promise.... maybe I should say a hope- that I will be writing in this more. All my friends are blogging as a way to keep people in touch. I guess I could do that. So I'll try if people really care to read what I write.

Ok- so coming soon- writing.... about.... me?

-Sarah