Focused

This is hopefully going to be a short, focused post.

I was chatting with a preschool Mom the other day about the normal things that you would expect preschool Moms to chat about. We were cliche in every way (potty training, how awesome we think our kids are, etc). I felt a quick connection with this woman, she seemed to value and struggle with similar things. We talked about the female "have it all" myth- that you can have a career, children, social life, etc. You can have it all! No. No you can't. Something's going to give at various points and you have to learn to be a master juggler and either be the bearer of great guilt or an oblivious person. The part that made me feel better about someone else sharing this same struggle- was that this woman is bad-ass. I mean- she used to work in a prison, she now works in foreign politics and is no stranger to governments collapsing around her. SHE struggles, and she's freakin Jane Bond.

Something she said to me really stuck. She said that when she comes home from work she is laser focused on her kids. She- Jane Bond, would rather stay home with the kids. But as it is this world, not working is often not a viable option. So she is focused. I realized that as a stay-at-home Mom, because I am with my children all the time, I can fall into the trap of not focusing. If the kids are happy, who am I to intervene and try to do some fancy activity or play in their make-believe world? I will say that I am a big fan of relaxed parenting and self-awareness, so I'm not going to start doing arts and crafts with my kid unless it really makes sense. And independent play is good. But yesterday Hunter and I spent the entire day outside. Playing. Genuinely playing. I was focused on him. It was really great. Of course the weather is gorgeous, and that helps. I was exhausted at the end of the day- but this time from play and running around rather than emotional drainage from whining (don't get me wrong- whining occurred, but it's harder to whine when Mommy is rolling around in the grass with you). Graham gets my focus when I nurse him and Lord knows Hunter talks to him enough for him to feel super loved. I need to be even more intentional about those moments with him.

This is my job, I've claimed it, I'm down with it. I'm even doing play-dates for crying out loud. So my new friend has just provided some continuing education for me. Thanks to her. So here's to another focused, energy-sapping but connection-rich day.