Saying that you aren't racist, and saying that you are colorblind, is a quick way to anger just about any person that has faced racism in their lifetime. But I get it, you really don't believe you are racist. Even those of you who really really are racist don't think you are. One guy who marched in Charlottesville spouted some ridiculous tale about how he wasn't racist, but just concerned about white history being erased. Lord have mercy on all of our souls.
I think this is a special (and evil) form of white logic. Maybe it's human, but we white people take a double dip. We are essentially saying that if we aren't racist on purpose, or if we aren't fully aware of it- it doesn't count. Even simpler: we just really don't ever want to take responsibility for anything. Our idea of justice is our assumed innocence. This innocence must stand over every other fact. So a child who is murdered in the street. It can't possibly be about race because I'm not racist on purpose. I was scared, startled, blah blah blah. Every excuse that will keep me from facing a mirror.
Here's a scary thing, racism is not something any of us Americans have been excused from. If you have grown up in America, you have grown up with a culture that has conditioned you to think, fear, respect, suspect, a certain way. It's called systemic racism: where even if you were taught by lovely people to do loving things, you are still part of a system that is bent by racism. Even if you aren't racist on purpose, you are still racist.
OK- so I did sort of just say we are all racist. I stand by that, but clearly there are divisions of racism with 0 being an infant and 10 being Hitler. If we all start our day by saying "at least I'm not Hitler" and then forgetting about it, we're not doing the work. We have to look in the mirror and say: "I locked my door when that black guy walked by. I need to think about why I did that, and possibly get out of my white bubble." That's a start. We need to check ourselves, and listen to people who are not like us- and see what they have to say.
I confess: when the whole Charlottesville thing was happening, I was hiding on vacation and thinking "same old shit." I'm sad that it doesn't surprise me. But I feel like we should stop pulling out the tired "in this day and age" expressions. YES- in THIS day and EVERY age. ALWAYS. So let's do something! I learned that progress isn't linear when Trump was elected. We have to literally never stop fighting. It's exhausting, but letting the darkness win is worse.
After Charlottesville, I thought "same old shit" and my white opinions won't help anyone. But then my friends of color started saying things on social media like "Don't be silent. Speak up. Silence is complicity." And I thought- well shit- I'm certainly not racist, I don't feel like me saying that helps anyone. What am I supposed to say?! But then I remembered- of course I'm racist- I grew up mostly in the south- that stuff sticks. So what do I say?
After Charlottesville, I thought "same old shit" and my white opinions won't help anyone. But then my friends of color started saying things on social media like "Don't be silent. Speak up. Silence is complicity." And I thought- well shit- I'm certainly not racist, I don't feel like me saying that helps anyone. What am I supposed to say?! But then I remembered- of course I'm racist- I grew up mostly in the south- that stuff sticks. So what do I say?
A friend wrote an article- so I shared her words. A world-renown museum posted a video, I shared that.
But still this idea of people thinking "I'm not racist on purpose" kept echoing in my brain. So I am writing about it- another white girl talking about racism. But like my friends said: silence is complicit.
If you are a person, then you have issues with race that you need to deal with. You may need healing. You may need wisdom. You may need a sit down with yourself to talk about your priorities. I don't know- but no more of this "I'm not racist" shit. You are a complex human born into a complex world. Our world has not yet fully developed the tools and wisdom for handling differences. We still get bullied in school if our ears are too big, or if we're really short, or if we like weird music. We're crazy dumb as a species if you think about it. Clearly we have not yet evolved to the nirvana of not being racist.
To think that you have somehow glided through this life squeaky clean of all societal influences is really a great way to label yourself as totally oblivious. If you think that race is not a problem (or not your problem), you have a problem.
Let me get out of the way the people who are legit racist on purpose with a burning cross in their hands and a swastika tattooed on their eyelid. Those folk have some serious issues- but honestly- their awareness of their hatred gets them maybe one step closer to healing if they are ever willing to think about it. But their issues are not our issues- and our issues are so much harder because we're basically a bunch of alcoholics who won't admit we have a problem.
We have to be willing to admit that we are racist. Then we can sort our issues. That's a really vulnerable and humble thing to do. We Americans are shit at humble. We white Americans are even worst. We white Christian Americans- damn near impossible. We have built an empire out of our own piety.
Saying that people aren't racist on purpose only makes it harder to stop getting black people shot. They truly could not give a single fuck about whether you meant to have a racist reaction or not. From what I gather, people of color just want to at the very least not get shot. Of course there are significantly higher goals like equality- but the reason there are so many protests right now is because it is survival mode right now. They are literally suffocating, bleeding, wasting away on the streets and all America has to say is "well it can't be racism, because it wasn't racism on purpose." How absolutely maddening.
So- you are racist. Yes. Stop ignoring it, stop hiding in your self-serving guilt and shame. You're not the one unicorn who completely missed every cultural reference and flew over the systemic tide curved by racism. You just aren't. That's OK. Join me and confront it. It might be humiliating, but we need the fire of that journey if we are to have any hope as a human species. Maybe we in America could be actual beacons of light for racial healing? It's a crazy tall order- but why not?
What am I doing? I fumbling like a moron, but I'm paying attention. I'm paying attention to the stuff that I watch- if it doesn't have any people of color, I take a note and try to watch stuff that isn't all white. I'm reading literature by people of color- and listening. I read Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me, a good book. I read Maya Angelou's autobiography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, my first Angelou read ever. I'm reading Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I have The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead on my nightstand- pretty sure it's going to wreck me. I have really curly hair and I'm using Shea Moisture products for it- which is not to say I have black hair- but the products work for me and I feel stupid for never considering going into the "ethnic" hair section. An added benefit is I'm supporting a company that isn't owned by an old white guy. I'm trying something as simple as attempting to memorize spelling unfamiliar names rather than saying- oh God how can I ever remember to spell that- let me look it up. It's a feeble start but I'm trying. And I will definitely do something wrong, say something wrong, not know something, not recognize something, something. And that's OK- because this is not about me being right. It's about me learning and trying to shed 36 years of living in American racism.
So- just because you aren't racist on purpose, doesn't mean you aren't racist. Start somewhere- anywhere- in addressing that simple fact.
To think that you have somehow glided through this life squeaky clean of all societal influences is really a great way to label yourself as totally oblivious. If you think that race is not a problem (or not your problem), you have a problem.
Let me get out of the way the people who are legit racist on purpose with a burning cross in their hands and a swastika tattooed on their eyelid. Those folk have some serious issues- but honestly- their awareness of their hatred gets them maybe one step closer to healing if they are ever willing to think about it. But their issues are not our issues- and our issues are so much harder because we're basically a bunch of alcoholics who won't admit we have a problem.
We have to be willing to admit that we are racist. Then we can sort our issues. That's a really vulnerable and humble thing to do. We Americans are shit at humble. We white Americans are even worst. We white Christian Americans- damn near impossible. We have built an empire out of our own piety.
Saying that people aren't racist on purpose only makes it harder to stop getting black people shot. They truly could not give a single fuck about whether you meant to have a racist reaction or not. From what I gather, people of color just want to at the very least not get shot. Of course there are significantly higher goals like equality- but the reason there are so many protests right now is because it is survival mode right now. They are literally suffocating, bleeding, wasting away on the streets and all America has to say is "well it can't be racism, because it wasn't racism on purpose." How absolutely maddening.
So- you are racist. Yes. Stop ignoring it, stop hiding in your self-serving guilt and shame. You're not the one unicorn who completely missed every cultural reference and flew over the systemic tide curved by racism. You just aren't. That's OK. Join me and confront it. It might be humiliating, but we need the fire of that journey if we are to have any hope as a human species. Maybe we in America could be actual beacons of light for racial healing? It's a crazy tall order- but why not?
What am I doing? I fumbling like a moron, but I'm paying attention. I'm paying attention to the stuff that I watch- if it doesn't have any people of color, I take a note and try to watch stuff that isn't all white. I'm reading literature by people of color- and listening. I read Ta-Nehisi Coates' Between the World and Me, a good book. I read Maya Angelou's autobiography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, my first Angelou read ever. I'm reading Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I have The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead on my nightstand- pretty sure it's going to wreck me. I have really curly hair and I'm using Shea Moisture products for it- which is not to say I have black hair- but the products work for me and I feel stupid for never considering going into the "ethnic" hair section. An added benefit is I'm supporting a company that isn't owned by an old white guy. I'm trying something as simple as attempting to memorize spelling unfamiliar names rather than saying- oh God how can I ever remember to spell that- let me look it up. It's a feeble start but I'm trying. And I will definitely do something wrong, say something wrong, not know something, not recognize something, something. And that's OK- because this is not about me being right. It's about me learning and trying to shed 36 years of living in American racism.
So- just because you aren't racist on purpose, doesn't mean you aren't racist. Start somewhere- anywhere- in addressing that simple fact.
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