I made an observation today, sort of one of those moments where a few things come together to show you what the world is like from the outside. A little background: I have been an habitual church-goer since grade school. I'm not saying we went every week or the belt was used- just- regular. As I got older I was blessed to have a church that was connecting to me and so I went with more regularity on my own volition. In college I had a hard time finding a church, but when I found one my junior year- you better believe I was there all the time. I LOVE CHURCH.
Fast forward. Seminary it was near impossible to find a church. For me, anyway. I lived in Atlanta so I certainly had no shortage of options. I had every critique and critic throughout history in my mind, so it was very hard to enjoy church or even trust church. I ultimately gave up and tried to attend chapel here and there.
Fast forward. I worked at a church- you would think working there would make you hate it, but I didn't. I love it. I have had two jobs and many ups and downs, but I have loved being a part of this methodist church community where my husband is the associate pastor. I am not even Methodist!
Fast forward. I now have two children and took the necessary and healthy break from most activities, including church, when my boys were born. After each birth, I gave myself about 2 months before I started slowly working my way back in. Now that my youngest is 6 months old, I am back in the thick of things, volunteering and attending worship. It doesn't happen every Sunday and I'm rearranging things so I can get back on track- but we're almost there. Keep in mind, we live across the street. I can leave when the service starts and only miss a couple of announcements. Even still, some days I find it difficult to get myself in worship- especially in the morning (we have an evening service that I currently work childcare for, but I fired myself today so I can get back into worship).
Now- we as church goers/leaders are constantly wondering why people don't commit to come to church. It's Sunday morning- one hour (two if you're really good)- and that's it! Doesn't God deserve that much? When put in those terms, yea, sure- the guilt piles on. However, I witnessed a couple of things Sunday that softened my heart and caused me to think about how we as a church can be reaching out.
Event #1: I dropped my son off at Sunday School (wearing jeans and leaving the baby home, asleep, in the crib- the monitor would almost stretch we're that close). A little boy that my son adores was also being dropped off by his parents, but he was having a hard time letting go of Mommy. (Meanwhile Hunter has completely ditched me for the cars and his crying friend.) I know this family and it hit me- these parents work 5 days a week in the city, with their long commute, they probably get a precious 2 hours with their kids at night each day. Weekends are sacred family time. They live about 15 minutes away. So I thought about it. Most likely the kids got up, they began the process of getting ready (2 kids, 2 adults) and then they have to defrost the car, jump in and drive to the church by 9:20 so they have time to drop off kids and get to church. From potty, showering, dressing, breakfast to the drive- this is easily a 1.5 hour endeavor. They get to church- Mom who would rather stay at home with her kids but can't afford not to work- must suffer the guilt and emotional strain of leaving her sad 3 year old with other people, again. Dad drops older daughter off at Sunday School, maybe thinking that he hasn't had a real conversation with her yet that day. Mom and Dad go to church, hoping to be inspired, enlivened, or at least engaged. They also hope that their kids are enjoying themselves and learning something. This family has actually sacrificed a lot more than I realized, just to be at church for an hour. A worthy sacrifice, yes, and of course no one said that faith was easy or being a part of a community could be done by staying at home. I get all that- but- I kept thinking about that Mom and how I would have been thinking- why the hell am I doing this?! Especially folks who are kind of "trying" the whole church thing out. If that church is not a loving, grace-filled and spirit-filled place- it's really not worth their effort.
Event #2: I read a post on facebook about a family enjoying their lazy morning with their 3 kids. The husband and wife were enjoying some quality time while the children played in the other room. I can't judge them. I was jealous.
SO- here in Northern Virginia when the parents are working so hard they hardly see their kids- if we want to have young families come to church- we better make it worth the trip. How do you balance the reality of families that hardly see one another and the reality that church is a commitment, a bit of a sacrifice? I understand the concept of costly discipleship. I think it's more about standing up for what's right, being willing to put energy into doing good things. Church is really the foundation from which we are to go out and do the costly stuff. Church is the sanctuary. It is the resting place, the gathering, the reservoir, the filling station, the place to be with other people who are on the same road as you are and share the journey - lifting each other up and encouraging one another and learning from one another. If we want people to do the costly discipleship Jesus calls for, we better have some cups of cold water ready for the race. If we want people to turn down a lazy Sunday morning with their family- a sacred time of filling- then we better be very intentional that the church is doing what it should be doing- and surround this struggling family with love and a collective will to do God's work in the world.
Am I making sense? What do you think? Is church "worth" it these days? Do we need to rethink what we're trying to do? If you're not a church-goer - what would compel you to attend church? Why would you come back?
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
On Needing a Villain
I had an epiphany this morning, let's see if I can play it out in words well. We bent the rules for Hunter and allowed a little movie watching so I could make my grocery list and Jason could make a trip to the guitar store. He watched some weird cars knock-off episode and then I allowed him to choose one more video. He chose the movie version of the story "The Little Engine that Could." We started awkwardly in the middle of it because he had tried to watch it before. Hunter didn't seem to mind. The animated movie shows the character that is obviously the little engine that could and the toys that want to be delivered to the boys and girls over the mountain. Then comes a big old iron engine. I'm thinking- ok- this is the old engine that is too tired to help the engine (later I realized this interaction must have already happened since the engine that Could is already on board). The big iron engine is not the old man. It is a giant, creepy, red-eyed villain with iron grates for a scary mouth. He is bullying the little engine and stealing the boy (added character) and toys and running away- not without first violently pushing the little engine off the tracks.
I'm thinking... WTF? This is the weirdest rendition of this story that I have seen! (A little akin to the Polar Express movie- a LOT of random, creepy images that are added to make a movie out of a 12 page book with mostly pictures.) I continue to watch over my shoulder, forgetting my grocery list. The scenery, characters and story line all are dark and dreary and getting more dramatic and desperate as time goes on. So I am wondering if I should choose some other video for Hunter to watch. Keep in mind that Hunter is 3 years old, and while I am not a developmental or psychological expert- I do know the simple fact that this age sees an increase in real or imagined fears. Many are irrational and 3 year olds are not quite at the point where you can explain something to them with reason for them to change their mind. Waking up a 3am with a nightmare is not uncommon for this age group. Hunter does not seem to be too phased by the scary villain, so I let it go. But I think about it.
I casually post on Facebook about it, writing: "What is up with making nice, normal stories into scary, creepy, dramatic movies? Hunter is watching an extended rendition of the little engine that could- complete with a big, scary, villainous train." I expected responses from parents in agreement. I did not get that. The responses were appropriate and thoughtful, saying essentially that having a villain was in fact probably more realistic to life and could be a positive venue for our children to learn about how to deal with evil and "villains" in the real world. Here is the direct quote from Kate Meacham: "OK - I have a theory on this. I think that we like to forget the villains and pretend that everything can be all kumbayah. BUT - the thieves in the bushes are an important part of so many stories - and as adults, I know that I am continually disappointed when I discover mal-intentions. BUT if we'd just remembered and realized that the villains are part of our world, and we need to anticipate their presence - we wouldn't be so disappointed. . . all this is to say - maybe it plays a role in real life awareness?" To some extent I agreed with my two friends, but something in me was still concerned. It challenged me to think deeper into what was really bothering me about the responses and even more so- the movie. The two responses I received were from two friends who I would say are at opposite ends of the theological spectrum. I think this is helpful to keep in mind because this is not a polarized thought from one theological paradigm. I started verbalizing my thoughts to Jason when it hit me... The idea that we need a villain to understand evil is, to me, misdirection.
I think most people who understand the realities of the world would probably agree to some extent with my friends, as I did. However, and I hope to bring a new idea to the table, I have misgivings about this approach.
I may be reading too much into what my friends said, but I think more generally the idea is that villains in stories are appropriate tools for communicating the presence of evil in the world. I agree that they are convenient tools. However, if we unpack this a little bit, I think we might be making a mistake to emphasize the villain as the obvious and true choice to recognize and fight evil. I think personifying evil in the real world is often what gets us in trouble, in hatred, and in powerlessness. We demonize a people-group, a person, or even an idea or moral standard (and the one who believes it believes in evil). We label the evil and then it becomes bigger and scarier than we know how to handle, so the Evil wins at our timidity. Sometimes we need a villain so we can be the victim. We need a villain so that someone or something is to blame.
In these kids movies there is increasing drama, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. There are creepy, evil villains that personally hound the "hero" of the story. That hero often (in kids movies) saves the day with help from friends. I do think that these can be very positive life lessons. However, in the real world- does this happen this way? Is evil in the form of one person or thing that makes it a personal goal to hound us? Are we traveling up the hill only to find that we are out of gas and then suddenly the sun is blacked out and it starts pouring down with snow? Maybe some days we FEEL like that (maybe because we interpret it that way). Honestly, most of the time evil in my world starts with me. It starts with my attitude. It starts with my unwillingness to do something, to stand up for something. I most often experience evil as the ABSENCE of good being done, rather than the ACT of evil being forged. And how do we fight inaction? We often don't- because we don't readily recognize it.
Don't misunderstand me. There ARE evil-acting people and ideas and forces in this world. Whether you believe in a personified devil or not, evil is actively happening everywhere in the world. We don't have to have a red critter with horns to believe that. We can blame it on the devil, we can blame it on God. Or we can start doing something. A person of faith has the reassurance and hope that God is with them. A person without faith can still fight- they just might grow weary. However- the power of evil lies not in the power of the evil one, but the powerlessness in those who choose not to fight it. Evil is a vacuum, Good is a force.
Take the original story of the little engine that could. It depicts a broken down train who is trying to make its way over the mountain to deliver food and toys to the village. The toys cry out for help. An old train stops to speak with the toys and apologizes for being too old and tired and unable to help. A shiny new train stops and snobbily turns its nose at the train and refuses to help as it is beneath him to pull such a train. Finally, a little engine comes and admits weakness, but offers to try. The engine tries and repeats positive, hopeful determination to itself...I think I can, I think I can. When the train succeeds, it provides its own affirmation...I thought I could, I thought I could! The food and toys are delivered and the children are happy. There is no specific villain- the snobby train could be one, but it doesn't get much mention. The ones who wouldn't or couldn't are not dwelled on. The true victory is that the little engine thought it could, tried, and succeeded. This is a much more useful lesson to my life. I could learn a lot more from not dwelling on what went wrong and what didn't happen my way. I could learn a lot from the lesson of trying with hopeful determination. These are not pollyanna lessons, they are hard. At least they are hard for me.
When I see stories of overwhelming triumphs over overwhelming evil- I often think- I would've given up 8 scenes ago. It is out of reach and inconceivable. I know that these stories have real parallels in the real world, but most of them are dramatized beyond reality. Adult movies and shows are not very different from kids' are they? Startling evil villains, mind-boggling obstacles, super-heroics are required to be victorious. Maybe that is why we are so obsessed with supers these days. We've made our villains too big- we can't handle them. We are frozen in apathy and need someone bigger to take care of it.
I think this is a part of why Occupy Wall Street is so compelling to me. Sure, many of those folks have some personified demons to point out- but as a whole- it's a large group of people who are tired of doing nothing. They don't have demands because they haven't agreed on a villain. I kind of hope they don't ever agree on one. I like that it is a rising of people who want to do something different and offer a different point of view, a different opinion.
So to take this more specifically to my faith... Jesus was a big story-teller. He had his way of making himself understood - although at times it seemed more confusing. His wisdom in sharing parables and stories rather than theological treatises and dogma becomes more and more apparent to me. I wonder (and I really am thinking about this- please offer your thoughts)- are there many villains in Jesus' stories? The ones that come to mind lack a true villain... instead are stories of action and inaction, perception of justice and descriptions of The Kingdom. This is interesting to me.
Do we really exist in a world of obvious villains who are after us in as many crafty ways as they can muster? Or are our true villains the voices inside that say "don't do anything," "wait," "it's more than you should do," "it's not your problem," "THEY are evil, you are right," "YOU deserve this, THEY don't." I believe that life offers us many more opportunities to be heroes than we can imagine. The "villains" we encounter on a daily basis are really at a basic level people who think only of themselves. The "super-villains" have been unchecked for far too long. We can be heroes simply by doing something for someone else.
I don't need a villain, I need a will to do good. I'm reminded of one of my favorite gospel songs:
I'm gonna live so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna pray so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna sing so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna work so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
Amen.
I'm thinking... WTF? This is the weirdest rendition of this story that I have seen! (A little akin to the Polar Express movie- a LOT of random, creepy images that are added to make a movie out of a 12 page book with mostly pictures.) I continue to watch over my shoulder, forgetting my grocery list. The scenery, characters and story line all are dark and dreary and getting more dramatic and desperate as time goes on. So I am wondering if I should choose some other video for Hunter to watch. Keep in mind that Hunter is 3 years old, and while I am not a developmental or psychological expert- I do know the simple fact that this age sees an increase in real or imagined fears. Many are irrational and 3 year olds are not quite at the point where you can explain something to them with reason for them to change their mind. Waking up a 3am with a nightmare is not uncommon for this age group. Hunter does not seem to be too phased by the scary villain, so I let it go. But I think about it.
I casually post on Facebook about it, writing: "What is up with making nice, normal stories into scary, creepy, dramatic movies? Hunter is watching an extended rendition of the little engine that could- complete with a big, scary, villainous train." I expected responses from parents in agreement. I did not get that. The responses were appropriate and thoughtful, saying essentially that having a villain was in fact probably more realistic to life and could be a positive venue for our children to learn about how to deal with evil and "villains" in the real world. Here is the direct quote from Kate Meacham: "OK - I have a theory on this. I think that we like to forget the villains and pretend that everything can be all kumbayah. BUT - the thieves in the bushes are an important part of so many stories - and as adults, I know that I am continually disappointed when I discover mal-intentions. BUT if we'd just remembered and realized that the villains are part of our world, and we need to anticipate their presence - we wouldn't be so disappointed. . . all this is to say - maybe it plays a role in real life awareness?" To some extent I agreed with my two friends, but something in me was still concerned. It challenged me to think deeper into what was really bothering me about the responses and even more so- the movie. The two responses I received were from two friends who I would say are at opposite ends of the theological spectrum. I think this is helpful to keep in mind because this is not a polarized thought from one theological paradigm. I started verbalizing my thoughts to Jason when it hit me... The idea that we need a villain to understand evil is, to me, misdirection.
I think most people who understand the realities of the world would probably agree to some extent with my friends, as I did. However, and I hope to bring a new idea to the table, I have misgivings about this approach.
I may be reading too much into what my friends said, but I think more generally the idea is that villains in stories are appropriate tools for communicating the presence of evil in the world. I agree that they are convenient tools. However, if we unpack this a little bit, I think we might be making a mistake to emphasize the villain as the obvious and true choice to recognize and fight evil. I think personifying evil in the real world is often what gets us in trouble, in hatred, and in powerlessness. We demonize a people-group, a person, or even an idea or moral standard (and the one who believes it believes in evil). We label the evil and then it becomes bigger and scarier than we know how to handle, so the Evil wins at our timidity. Sometimes we need a villain so we can be the victim. We need a villain so that someone or something is to blame.
In these kids movies there is increasing drama, and seemingly insurmountable obstacles. There are creepy, evil villains that personally hound the "hero" of the story. That hero often (in kids movies) saves the day with help from friends. I do think that these can be very positive life lessons. However, in the real world- does this happen this way? Is evil in the form of one person or thing that makes it a personal goal to hound us? Are we traveling up the hill only to find that we are out of gas and then suddenly the sun is blacked out and it starts pouring down with snow? Maybe some days we FEEL like that (maybe because we interpret it that way). Honestly, most of the time evil in my world starts with me. It starts with my attitude. It starts with my unwillingness to do something, to stand up for something. I most often experience evil as the ABSENCE of good being done, rather than the ACT of evil being forged. And how do we fight inaction? We often don't- because we don't readily recognize it.
Don't misunderstand me. There ARE evil-acting people and ideas and forces in this world. Whether you believe in a personified devil or not, evil is actively happening everywhere in the world. We don't have to have a red critter with horns to believe that. We can blame it on the devil, we can blame it on God. Or we can start doing something. A person of faith has the reassurance and hope that God is with them. A person without faith can still fight- they just might grow weary. However- the power of evil lies not in the power of the evil one, but the powerlessness in those who choose not to fight it. Evil is a vacuum, Good is a force.
Take the original story of the little engine that could. It depicts a broken down train who is trying to make its way over the mountain to deliver food and toys to the village. The toys cry out for help. An old train stops to speak with the toys and apologizes for being too old and tired and unable to help. A shiny new train stops and snobbily turns its nose at the train and refuses to help as it is beneath him to pull such a train. Finally, a little engine comes and admits weakness, but offers to try. The engine tries and repeats positive, hopeful determination to itself...I think I can, I think I can. When the train succeeds, it provides its own affirmation...I thought I could, I thought I could! The food and toys are delivered and the children are happy. There is no specific villain- the snobby train could be one, but it doesn't get much mention. The ones who wouldn't or couldn't are not dwelled on. The true victory is that the little engine thought it could, tried, and succeeded. This is a much more useful lesson to my life. I could learn a lot more from not dwelling on what went wrong and what didn't happen my way. I could learn a lot from the lesson of trying with hopeful determination. These are not pollyanna lessons, they are hard. At least they are hard for me.
When I see stories of overwhelming triumphs over overwhelming evil- I often think- I would've given up 8 scenes ago. It is out of reach and inconceivable. I know that these stories have real parallels in the real world, but most of them are dramatized beyond reality. Adult movies and shows are not very different from kids' are they? Startling evil villains, mind-boggling obstacles, super-heroics are required to be victorious. Maybe that is why we are so obsessed with supers these days. We've made our villains too big- we can't handle them. We are frozen in apathy and need someone bigger to take care of it.
I think this is a part of why Occupy Wall Street is so compelling to me. Sure, many of those folks have some personified demons to point out- but as a whole- it's a large group of people who are tired of doing nothing. They don't have demands because they haven't agreed on a villain. I kind of hope they don't ever agree on one. I like that it is a rising of people who want to do something different and offer a different point of view, a different opinion.
So to take this more specifically to my faith... Jesus was a big story-teller. He had his way of making himself understood - although at times it seemed more confusing. His wisdom in sharing parables and stories rather than theological treatises and dogma becomes more and more apparent to me. I wonder (and I really am thinking about this- please offer your thoughts)- are there many villains in Jesus' stories? The ones that come to mind lack a true villain... instead are stories of action and inaction, perception of justice and descriptions of The Kingdom. This is interesting to me.
Do we really exist in a world of obvious villains who are after us in as many crafty ways as they can muster? Or are our true villains the voices inside that say "don't do anything," "wait," "it's more than you should do," "it's not your problem," "THEY are evil, you are right," "YOU deserve this, THEY don't." I believe that life offers us many more opportunities to be heroes than we can imagine. The "villains" we encounter on a daily basis are really at a basic level people who think only of themselves. The "super-villains" have been unchecked for far too long. We can be heroes simply by doing something for someone else.
I don't need a villain, I need a will to do good. I'm reminded of one of my favorite gospel songs:
I'm gonna live so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna pray so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna sing so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
I'm gonna work so
God can use me
Anywhere Lord, Anytime
Amen.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Feminism and pettiness and confession
I have a confession to make. I spent a solid hour (give or take) making fun of and/or ridiculing the dresses of the latest local homecoming dance. That wasn't nice. Let me explain. I was the youth director at my husband's church a little while ago and am friends with several of the "kids" on facebook. Some photo albums tagging some of our youth came up and to say it bluntly- I was shocked like a 50s housewife looking at porn. I mean- wow. I will add a disclaimer that "my" girls were for the most part tastefully dressed (some in dresses that were too short for my taste, but I hate my knees- so that's a bit harsh).
What the hell are people letting their daughters wear? Wait- let me be even more cliche- WHY did they let her go out dressed like that? Apparently the new style is skin-tight, SHORT, and let's make it strapless too. Because I want to see BOTH ends fall out. Really?! I know, I just turned thirty, maybe I'm showing my age. But I PROMISE you that if some of these girls even so much attempted to pick up a penny or stretch- their world was going to be visible.
On a more serious note- this is bad. Really bad. Worse than I thought. These girls were not only dressed as 25 year olds, they were dressed as 25 year old prostitutes. And I'm not kidding or exaggerating. What concerns me is that it wasn't a few girls who were able to slip past Mom and Dad (or had oblivious guardians who thought this was appropriate)- this wasn't even THAT girl who was just too oblivious to realize that Paris Hilton doesn't translate. No- the MAJORITY were dressed like this. Even the ones with more modest tops (a sleeve, for example)- still had the super short dress going on. This concerns me for the women who thought their daughter should or could wear these dresses. It concerns me for the girls who wanted to. And it concerns me for the poor ones who refused to because you just KNOW they aren't cool. There was such an overwhelming majority of these dresses that it seemed oppressive for any girl to make a stand against it. Some kids made their way around it- and I applaud them. One of the girls I knew wore a dress that was similarly styled but a good 3 inches longer than most- not noticeably long- but hey- it covered her butt.
I was talking to a Mom of one of these girls whose daughter was beautifully and not prostitutely dressed- and she talked about how it was almost impossible to find clothing that wasn't like this for her daughter. If her daughter wants to wear shorts- her options are capris, bermuda pants or up-your-butt shorts. What is wrong with this picture?
Ultimately women are still not doing well in terms of general equality and respect. (Obviously) The boys- what were they wearing? Coat and tie. I thanked God I had boys and then promised God I would teach them to respect women.
How do you teach boys to respect women? I have the love and respect of my husband and I don't dress like a tramp- that's a start. But there will be girls who do dress and act his way- and many of them will do it because they have been taught from day one that to be attractive is A #1 how to be loved. I read an article recently that highlighted how we innocently start this teaching to the littlest one. You see a little girl and what do you say? Oh, how beautiful you are in your little dress! A boy we may call handsome, or we call them big and boyish.
God, give us grace, give us wisdom, guide us and help us. And please don't let my sons date girls who dress like prostitutes. Because then I'm going to have to give that girl a lecture. Amen.
What the hell are people letting their daughters wear? Wait- let me be even more cliche- WHY did they let her go out dressed like that? Apparently the new style is skin-tight, SHORT, and let's make it strapless too. Because I want to see BOTH ends fall out. Really?! I know, I just turned thirty, maybe I'm showing my age. But I PROMISE you that if some of these girls even so much attempted to pick up a penny or stretch- their world was going to be visible.
On a more serious note- this is bad. Really bad. Worse than I thought. These girls were not only dressed as 25 year olds, they were dressed as 25 year old prostitutes. And I'm not kidding or exaggerating. What concerns me is that it wasn't a few girls who were able to slip past Mom and Dad (or had oblivious guardians who thought this was appropriate)- this wasn't even THAT girl who was just too oblivious to realize that Paris Hilton doesn't translate. No- the MAJORITY were dressed like this. Even the ones with more modest tops (a sleeve, for example)- still had the super short dress going on. This concerns me for the women who thought their daughter should or could wear these dresses. It concerns me for the girls who wanted to. And it concerns me for the poor ones who refused to because you just KNOW they aren't cool. There was such an overwhelming majority of these dresses that it seemed oppressive for any girl to make a stand against it. Some kids made their way around it- and I applaud them. One of the girls I knew wore a dress that was similarly styled but a good 3 inches longer than most- not noticeably long- but hey- it covered her butt.
I was talking to a Mom of one of these girls whose daughter was beautifully and not prostitutely dressed- and she talked about how it was almost impossible to find clothing that wasn't like this for her daughter. If her daughter wants to wear shorts- her options are capris, bermuda pants or up-your-butt shorts. What is wrong with this picture?
Ultimately women are still not doing well in terms of general equality and respect. (Obviously) The boys- what were they wearing? Coat and tie. I thanked God I had boys and then promised God I would teach them to respect women.
How do you teach boys to respect women? I have the love and respect of my husband and I don't dress like a tramp- that's a start. But there will be girls who do dress and act his way- and many of them will do it because they have been taught from day one that to be attractive is A #1 how to be loved. I read an article recently that highlighted how we innocently start this teaching to the littlest one. You see a little girl and what do you say? Oh, how beautiful you are in your little dress! A boy we may call handsome, or we call them big and boyish.
God, give us grace, give us wisdom, guide us and help us. And please don't let my sons date girls who dress like prostitutes. Because then I'm going to have to give that girl a lecture. Amen.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I did it again
I threw Christians under the bus. In an OB appointment, no less. I had my yearly "ain't it great to be a woman" exam and was chatting with my new doctor (new partner in the practice) who is a man and fabulously gay. Well- he didn't say he was- but I would bet a lot of money on it, and I'm not a betting gal. The point is, here is a person who is most likely ostracized by the "Church." He's a highly intelligent surgeon/Dr who is gay. It is almost without question that this man has felt some demonization from some branches of the church. I am in perfect position to be a witness for a loving God.
Here's what I do instead: Dr. comments on my chick fil a coffee mug- surprised to learn that they serve breakfast. I shamefully admit that they do, and a wonderful one at that- but that I feel guilty taking advantage of it as I should be boycotting them. He asks why and I explain that among other political contributions that I disagree with, they are financial supporters of anti-gay rights groups and politics. Dr is devastated and agrees with my conundrum- wonderful service and yummy chicken- bad politics (in our opinion). Of course Chick fil a is more than justified in funding and donating to whom they deem worthy, I just have an obligation of conscience to be aware of where my money goes to support. My breakfast is a drop in the bucket of their larger budget, but that justification should only work a few times. So the doc and I are having a very light-hearted conversation about that and other things... Before the doctor leaves the room, he says: "I want to say you have been my favorite patient today, except you burst my bubble on that chick fil a thing! I should have known something was up with the whole "closed on Sunday" bit."
Large gaping open wide doorway for positive witness.
I say.... N O T H I N G. I even smile, as if to agree.
Son of a bitch, Sarah- you love Sunday! You love Sabbath! You think it's cool that they close on Sunday and still manage to reap a giant, fat profit in the face of an economy that believes you may never close your door or you will lose your money. To some extent- this practice is what drew me to the company to begin with! And what do I do? ABsolutely nothing. My silence alludes that I agree with the doctor's unfortunate assumption (and who can blame him when no other voices speak) that all Christians hate gay people. People really believe that!
One of the comments from my other post was from a friend of mine in seminary, Chris. He suggested (lightheartedly, although I think we both agree there is some realness to the suggestion)- that we begin a movement within Christianity to go along with the 99% mantra of Occupy Wall Street. We are the 99% of Christians who love people and don't think it's cool to shun or dehumanize those who are not like us. I don't believe 99% would be accurate, but if you think of all the people out there who consider themselves spiritual or connected or even marginally believe in the God of Abraham and Jacob- I bet you could find a decent amount who would be on board. I wonder how many? Is there a silent majority here? Are there folks who have been alienated from the "Church" who might be able to get on board with a movement led by the vision of Jesus? I'm not just talking about the hot topics like homosexuality. Maybe we could be like that protest in DC a few years back - the "Unprotest" led by Steve Colbert and Jon Stewart. We as Christians are tired of being labeled and witnessed as the haters of the poor, the stranger, the widow, the broken, the outcast. We are tired of the hot topics getting in the way of what matters. Why are we going in theological circles about whether gay people are sinners or not when it is never (and has never) been our job to judge? Shouldn't we be loving and welcoming? Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors. Really. Why have we lost our focus?
I for one am sick of it. And obviously- it's my own damn fault. I'm challenging myself to represent. Witness- use that wonderful word that now sounds like an insult or weapon to the ears of people who have been oppressed by a "witness." I'm going to be a witness of God's love. Even if it gets me in trouble with the loud people who disagree. I'm going to stop being quiet about the important stuff. I am going to represent the 64.8% or whatever of the Christians in this world who love Jesus and just want to help bring heaven to earth- loving and praying their way.
Here's what I do instead: Dr. comments on my chick fil a coffee mug- surprised to learn that they serve breakfast. I shamefully admit that they do, and a wonderful one at that- but that I feel guilty taking advantage of it as I should be boycotting them. He asks why and I explain that among other political contributions that I disagree with, they are financial supporters of anti-gay rights groups and politics. Dr is devastated and agrees with my conundrum- wonderful service and yummy chicken- bad politics (in our opinion). Of course Chick fil a is more than justified in funding and donating to whom they deem worthy, I just have an obligation of conscience to be aware of where my money goes to support. My breakfast is a drop in the bucket of their larger budget, but that justification should only work a few times. So the doc and I are having a very light-hearted conversation about that and other things... Before the doctor leaves the room, he says: "I want to say you have been my favorite patient today, except you burst my bubble on that chick fil a thing! I should have known something was up with the whole "closed on Sunday" bit."
Large gaping open wide doorway for positive witness.
I say.... N O T H I N G. I even smile, as if to agree.
Son of a bitch, Sarah- you love Sunday! You love Sabbath! You think it's cool that they close on Sunday and still manage to reap a giant, fat profit in the face of an economy that believes you may never close your door or you will lose your money. To some extent- this practice is what drew me to the company to begin with! And what do I do? ABsolutely nothing. My silence alludes that I agree with the doctor's unfortunate assumption (and who can blame him when no other voices speak) that all Christians hate gay people. People really believe that!
One of the comments from my other post was from a friend of mine in seminary, Chris. He suggested (lightheartedly, although I think we both agree there is some realness to the suggestion)- that we begin a movement within Christianity to go along with the 99% mantra of Occupy Wall Street. We are the 99% of Christians who love people and don't think it's cool to shun or dehumanize those who are not like us. I don't believe 99% would be accurate, but if you think of all the people out there who consider themselves spiritual or connected or even marginally believe in the God of Abraham and Jacob- I bet you could find a decent amount who would be on board. I wonder how many? Is there a silent majority here? Are there folks who have been alienated from the "Church" who might be able to get on board with a movement led by the vision of Jesus? I'm not just talking about the hot topics like homosexuality. Maybe we could be like that protest in DC a few years back - the "Unprotest" led by Steve Colbert and Jon Stewart. We as Christians are tired of being labeled and witnessed as the haters of the poor, the stranger, the widow, the broken, the outcast. We are tired of the hot topics getting in the way of what matters. Why are we going in theological circles about whether gay people are sinners or not when it is never (and has never) been our job to judge? Shouldn't we be loving and welcoming? Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors. Really. Why have we lost our focus?
I for one am sick of it. And obviously- it's my own damn fault. I'm challenging myself to represent. Witness- use that wonderful word that now sounds like an insult or weapon to the ears of people who have been oppressed by a "witness." I'm going to be a witness of God's love. Even if it gets me in trouble with the loud people who disagree. I'm going to stop being quiet about the important stuff. I am going to represent the 64.8% or whatever of the Christians in this world who love Jesus and just want to help bring heaven to earth- loving and praying their way.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Candle, Wine, Write
This is my recipe for relaxing. The wine keeps me from thinking about the dirty fill-in-the-blank, the candle transports me to a different place and the writing- it's my only outlet. I don't know what I plan to write today. I usually have a topic that is nagging. Tonight I just want to feel my fingertips moving across the keyboard. I want to do something that is not truly productive and wholly for me.
Lately I've been feeling a bit ... escapist. It may have been the solid week of rain (and today's all day rain affair after a few days of legit fall weather). It may have been the fact that my Mom was in town and as she puts it- was the "laundry fairy" and then she left town... It's hard to have your laundry fairy and adult company leave. It could be Hunter's new shiny (with fake tears) whiny personality that I am praying is a short-lived phase. My tolerance level has decreased to negative 1200. It could be that I'm becoming more politically and socially and globally aware- and it makes my heart hurt to see things that I was ignorant to before. Knowledge is supposed to be power- but I feel so powerless when confronted with the enormity of ... ugly.... that is out there.
There was an article on the protestors on Wall Street (which has and is spreading) that focused on a group of Christian leaders (seminarians, clergy, etc). This group of folks had gathered to provide a spiritual ground and focus for anyone who wanted to participate in integrating their faith with their fight. They were called chaplains of the protestors. Some of the comments made me really sad- one in particular was disappointing to put it lightly. The response these "chaplains" got from the crowd was one of surprise and specifically one protestor noted that they had never met a Christian protestor in the same kind of protest. I'm guessing they meant any protest that wasn't centered around highly charged religious debate (abortion, homosexuality, etc). That to me is S.A.D. sad. Are you a Christian? Are you a progressive Christian? Why do we let the loudest and most misogynistic and hating voices be heard as the voice of Christianity? I wonder if "Christian" has gotten such a bad name, we're actually present at these protests, but in disguise as a "normal person." I wonder if I've done this myself, dimming the light on my faith when it comes to the reasons why I stand for something. Actually what I usually find myself saying is: "I'm not like your typical Christian- I believe ..... you know- we should feed the poor." Way to throw the title "christian" under the bus, Sarah. But I think I'm actually afraid of other Christians more than those with no nominal faith. Even on Facebook- I hesitate to put certain things, basically because I just don't want to deal with the backlash of the Christian comments (see- I did it again).
I need to stand up for my faith. I need to put God's person with the truths I feel called to uphold. I need to keep myself open to hearing God's calling. I need not to hide my faith under a bushel or put out the light. It is DARK out there- and this world needs light. I need to quit hiding mine. So- I will proclaim the GOOD news and claim Christian and give Jesus some legs to walk on in this world who sees him as either a smiter with no sense of humor or a hippy with no sense.
Lately I've been feeling a bit ... escapist. It may have been the solid week of rain (and today's all day rain affair after a few days of legit fall weather). It may have been the fact that my Mom was in town and as she puts it- was the "laundry fairy" and then she left town... It's hard to have your laundry fairy and adult company leave. It could be Hunter's new shiny (with fake tears) whiny personality that I am praying is a short-lived phase. My tolerance level has decreased to negative 1200. It could be that I'm becoming more politically and socially and globally aware- and it makes my heart hurt to see things that I was ignorant to before. Knowledge is supposed to be power- but I feel so powerless when confronted with the enormity of ... ugly.... that is out there.
There was an article on the protestors on Wall Street (which has and is spreading) that focused on a group of Christian leaders (seminarians, clergy, etc). This group of folks had gathered to provide a spiritual ground and focus for anyone who wanted to participate in integrating their faith with their fight. They were called chaplains of the protestors. Some of the comments made me really sad- one in particular was disappointing to put it lightly. The response these "chaplains" got from the crowd was one of surprise and specifically one protestor noted that they had never met a Christian protestor in the same kind of protest. I'm guessing they meant any protest that wasn't centered around highly charged religious debate (abortion, homosexuality, etc). That to me is S.A.D. sad. Are you a Christian? Are you a progressive Christian? Why do we let the loudest and most misogynistic and hating voices be heard as the voice of Christianity? I wonder if "Christian" has gotten such a bad name, we're actually present at these protests, but in disguise as a "normal person." I wonder if I've done this myself, dimming the light on my faith when it comes to the reasons why I stand for something. Actually what I usually find myself saying is: "I'm not like your typical Christian- I believe ..... you know- we should feed the poor." Way to throw the title "christian" under the bus, Sarah. But I think I'm actually afraid of other Christians more than those with no nominal faith. Even on Facebook- I hesitate to put certain things, basically because I just don't want to deal with the backlash of the Christian comments (see- I did it again).
I need to stand up for my faith. I need to put God's person with the truths I feel called to uphold. I need to keep myself open to hearing God's calling. I need not to hide my faith under a bushel or put out the light. It is DARK out there- and this world needs light. I need to quit hiding mine. So- I will proclaim the GOOD news and claim Christian and give Jesus some legs to walk on in this world who sees him as either a smiter with no sense of humor or a hippy with no sense.
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