Zoo

The National Zoo in DC is fabulous. Driving to and from it- not so fabulous. I have not been there or back the same way ever. Each time I go I end up going a different way, and even in the same day on the way back- a uniquely new way. We went today (2 new ways)- John, Nancy, Becca, Jason, Hunter and I. The best part- I love the pandas and sloth bears. The pandas were particularly cute today- not because they were acting cute, but because Hunter said "PANDA" every time he saw a panda- and that includes pictures. If you have been to the Panda exhibit- you know that Hunter was nearly out of breath when we left- there are panda pictures everywhere! It was funny. Also- our good friend Amanda he calls Panda (or badah)- so I thought she would have enjoyed his practice of her name. : ) The sloth bears I love because they exude laziness- just their physical stature alone tells me they are tired. It's hilarious. They slouch when they sit, and laying down on their belly or side is absolutely silly- they lay on a hill, belly up and paws sprawled. Love it.

Now we are all back home and doing our best sloth bear impression as we manage to keep our napped (in the car) children entertained while we rest as well as we can. Fun is a lot of work.

I wore a skirt which seems fancy for animals - but this is the most comfortable skirt I own. It is not tight at all (which is more than I can say for the majority of my clothing right now- no- not pregnant- just fat)- and it is this gauzy cotton fabric that just breezes in the air. There is plenty of... um... circulation- and it was a hot day in need of circulation. I love it.

I am now slowly sliding down my chair . . . i think I'm going to go sit in the recliner.

Oh- random thing on my mind today... I have a meeting tonight (sort of) where I am going to be thanked for my leadership and given a parting gift. I have stepped away from this position of leadership in the church and I feel really awkward accepting this gift and thanks. I stepped out for many reasons- one of which was I just needed a break- but I felt God was calling me out of the ministry- and maybe God didn't use the word failure- but I did. I just felt like a crappy leader and I know for a fact that I didn't do all I should have. So I don't feel genuine about receiving thanks for what I feel was poor leadership. Does that make sense? I understand that I was helpful and formed positive relationships within the group- but what I'm dreading is the moment when they say how wonderful I was and how they appreciate all my hard work. If I believed two words of that- it would be a lot easier. And maybe they won't say all that- but this is a pretty gregarious and grateful group. I imagine they will. I even feel bad about whining about it- because it isn't their fault or problem- I just feel like a failure, and hearing thanks for a job crappily done only makes me feel guilty for accepting it.

ps- i know this is mental. as harry potter and his friends put it.