Stubborn =

Hunter. So stubborn is he that instead of napping, after crying himself exhausted- he is sleeping standing up. Arms folded over the crib's edge, blanket under his cheek- dozing off while standing. When he jerks awake, he grabs a different soft thing to rest his head on. Does he lie down so he can take a real nap? No, God forbid it.

These are the moments when I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I mean really. Lie down and go to sleep. Why am I the only one in the house that understands this simple concept? If I was given the chance to lie down and go to sleep- I would take it in a heartbeat. But no- I get to watch two babies who seem to hate sleep- one must be vibrated and swung to stay asleep- the other just refuses to put his head down- like the mattress is made of crusty vomit.

I am in what I like to call a "I hate everyone" mood. No one in particular- just kind of want to take a vacation all by myself to a cave. I got a speeding ticket on the way home from Nashville. This is where the mood started. I was supposedly going 78 in a 65, which confused me because I usually only set my cruise for about 8 over the limit- so I thought the cop clocked me wrong- then I realized it must have been a speed trap and the speed limit must have just changed from 70 (which it was more the majority of our 13 hour drive) to 65. No warning- just a ticket. Why? Because the state needs money and cops are just another version of tax collectors. At least it feels like that. I cried. SO angry. SO tired. Of course I didn't let the cop see that- but it wouldn't have made any difference if I was Mother Theresa with a 2 year old. I swore off driving and people after that- and so far it hasn't been successful. I haven't driven since then- but apparently we're making a trip to the in-laws this weekend. I really hope I'm nice to them. I don't feel nice.

Even in the midst of my I hate everyone mood- I managed to think of a fun non-profit idea... called "Making Cents" - where I'll figure out a way for people to donate their gift cards with a stupid amount of money left on it (29 cents) and with companies' help- I'll turn those cents into dollars and cash and donate them to charities. Was thinking of starting small- like with Children's Hospital or something, then going further. Here's the problem- I've got all sorts of great ideas. I just don't know how to make them happen.

OK- while Hunter is "resting" and so is Lily- I'm going to at least rest. I hope I'll get my act back together, start liking ppl and write more in my blog about happy things.