I'm in the bath tub, drinking rum and coke and working offline because my computer can't reach the unsecured wireless we've been tapping into on this side of the house. I feel sort of like this is my little hiatus. I'm getting a little grumpy and it was time for me to step away. I'm deciding that I should probably stay here for a little bit longer because Grandmother's things won't arrive until wed/thurs which means her apt won't be ready until at least fri/sat- and we're supposed to go home on Saturday. I feel like I would be leaving Mom and Dad in a chaotic moment if I left then. So I'll probably stay. This is a good idea. But I'm feeling homesick already- not that I know what I'm going to do with myself when I get home... I'm feeling sort of like I'm trying to please everyone- and instead of feeling like I'm pleasing no one or not succeeding, I'm feeling like it's really not affecting anyone but me. It would only affect them if I stopped, and sometimes that's all I want to do. Like this little hiatus to the bath tub. I'm feeling guilty by sitting here doing just this. tight gut guilty. But I might start getting bitchy if I don't take the break.
I'm not even sure exactly what is so difficult about all this or what is causing me to continue to feel on edge, but it is- and even the bath tub and rum isn't making it go away. Yeah, that's about all I have to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment